*Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:*
*Why did God make mothers?*
*1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.*
*2. Mostly to clean the house.*
*3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.*
*How did God make mothers?*
*1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.*
*2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.*
*3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.*
*What ingredients are mothers made of?*
*1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.*
*2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.*
*Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?*
*1. We’re related.*
*2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.*
*What kind of a little girl was your mom?*
*1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.*
*2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.*
*3. They say she used to be nice.*
*What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?*
*1. His last name.*
*2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he do drugs?*
*3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?*
*Why did your mom marry your dad?*
*1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.*
*2. She got too old to do anything else with him.*
*3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.*
*Who’s the boss at your house?*
*1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof
ball.*
*2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.*
*3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.*
*What’s the difference between moms and dads?*
*1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.*
*2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.*
*3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause
that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.*
*4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.*
*What does your mom do in her spare time?*
*1. Mothers don’t do spare time.*
*2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.*
*What would it take to make your mom perfect?*
*1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.*
*2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.*
*If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?*
*1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of
that.*
*2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
it not me.*
*3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
her head.*
